“Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”
Diane Scott found this sentiment scrawled on a Post-It note in her late partner Shelley Deglan’s handwriting shortly after she ended her cancer journey via a medically assisted death.
The fact that Deglan was thinking ahead to when she knew Scott would be struggling was typical of their 38-year relationship. Her compassion for others was the reason she and Scott included the BC Cancer Foundation in their will — and why Scott is continuing with a planned legacy gift in her honour.
“Some people throw a huge celebration of life. That’s not me. And it wasn’t Shelley,” she describes. “We’re introverted types that don’t want a big splash or party.” At Deglan’s request, instead of a service, Scott set up a memorial fund, which has raised over $22,000 for the BC Cancer Foundation.
Loving life, leaving a legacy
“Shelley celebrated life by living it,” Scott says, which included leaving a career in management at London Drugs to start her own garden business, as she was “truly happiest with her hands in the earth,” and to craft beautiful, beaded jewelry which she sold in galleries.
After Deglan overcame endometrial cancer in 2015, the couple moved to Victoria, where they enjoyed retired life on the Island. Until September 2018, when Deglan faced a second aggressive diagnosis of metastatic gallbladder cancer, and was given months to live.
Ten days after the news that left them “gobsmacked,” Deglan started palliative chemotherapy at BC Cancer – Victoria to help ease her incredible discomfort. “It improved her quality of life,” Scott explains. “From the first treatment, she felt better because it shrunk the tumour enough that she could start eating again.”
After treatment, Deglan felt well enough and was determined, despite the risk, to take a trip to their beloved Palm Springs.
“It was perfect,” Scott describes. “It was sunny every day. It had rained so there was a desert bloom. We did some hikes, including Shelley’s favourite way up on this ridge. She got a tan and had colour back in her face.”
When they got home, Deglan’s health steadily declined until she decided to leave on her own terms.
“She was fearless, always willing to try new things. Frugal but willing to spend big on important stuff,” says Scott, explaining how they both believed research in genetic testing for personalized cancer care was worth investing in.
“I had hoped to spend our money with her,” says Scott, of their trips to 69 countries and their shared love of the theatre. However, since that’s not possible, she views the gift in her will to the BC Cancer Foundation to improve outcomes for others facing cancer as one last thing they can do together.
“Shelley is still with me in my head and in my heart. It’s a way of honouring her,” Scott says. With someone you love, you never want them to be forgotten.”
To learn more about leaving a legacy gift to the BC Cancer Foundation, contact Jordan McClymont at 250-415-1888 or [email protected] or visit bccancerfoundation.com/LegacyGiving.
