Got to Tsawwassen just in time for the 11 o’clock ferry, but it was full.
So, it turned out, was the 1 p.m. sailing. We were looking at the 3.
This I learned not from the cashier in the ticket booth, but from the guy she was talking to, the driver of the truck in front of me. He was repeating everything she told him, but at a volume more commonly associated with Don Cherry stepping in dog crap.
“What do you mean it’s full?” he bellowed. He sounded incredulous, indignant, accusing, like Donald Trump trapped in an elevator with Megyn Kelly.
“No, I don’t have a reservation!” He seemed to think this was the fault of the woman in the booth.
“Well, I can’t wait until 3!” He then leaned out of his truck and glared, apparently thinking this would convince her to pick up the phone, call the bridge of the Coastal Constipation and demand that some deck space be cleared for one more extra-special traveller.
It was at this point that the car radio broke the news that B.C. is increasing its distracted-driving penalties. As of June 1, what is now a $167 ticket will jump to $368 for a first offence, with extra ICBC charges bringing the cost to $543.
The total will be $888 if you get caught again within 12 months, and $1,600 if nailed for a third offence. The cops will also put your phone on the pavement and hit it with the butt end of a Glock. (Just joking. They’ll shoot it.)
Note that this was announced shortly after B.C. tripled the penalties for people who are caught ignoring fire restrictions. That includes a $575 fine for throwing a cigarette butt out your car window.
Not sure butt-chuckers have that much to worry about, though. You don’t see a lot of drivers getting cigarette-tossing tickets.
Likewise, government coffers haven’t exactly been swollen by ticket revenue since B.C. introduced a law designed to crack down on left-lane hogs last summer.
From June through January, just 114 tickets were issued to drivers blocking the fast lane on the province’s highways, according to ICBC. That includes a total of three violation notices written on Vancouver Island.
Compare that to the 42,000 distracted-driving tickets issued in B.C. between 2010 and 2014. Seems we’re addicted to our phones (anyone who disputes this, raise your free hand).
In truth, most laws depend more on voluntary compliance than enforcement. Driving to Vancouver from Kamloops this week, I didn’t see a single cop on the road. But nor did I notice anyone hogging the left lane, talking on a cellphone, speeding like a maniac or otherwise behaving badly — until the encounter with the guy in the truck at the ferry terminal.
If anyone deserved a fine, it was he. Getting snotty with front-line ferry workers should carry a $368 penalty, or at least earn the offending driver a two-sailing time out at the back of lane 47.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that it was truck buddy who later fired up his engine on the car deck while the ferry was still inching into its berth at Swartz Bay. Apparently he thought this would encourage the captain to speed the docking process. Alas, all it did was turn the car deck into a scene from a Fort McMurray evacuation video, a crush of stranded vehicles barely visible through the toxic fumes.
That, too, should have been punishable by a fine. Or, better yet, a forced return voyage to Tsawwassen and another time out.
For here’s the deal: Some people think they’re more equal than you. Whether they’re blocking traffic, texting and driving, or merely driving B.C. Ferries workers nuts, they won’t be deterred by fines (remember the Vancouver-area driver who got caught on her phone 14 times in five years?) no matter how high they are.
Last year, while pondering the Wildfire Act changes that ultimately took effect April 1, B.C. cabinet minister Mike Morris mused about non-monetary penalties.
“Should we ban those who break campfire bans from using our provincial parks?” he was quoted as asking. “Should we impound the vehicles of those who flick lit cigarette butts from their car windows?”
Yes, yes we should. Also, take away their smokes. And crush their phones. (Just joking. Lop off their thumbs instead.)
Fines are fine for some, but others need a more tangible, immediate deterrent.
For were it not for a sense of entitlement, some people would have no sense at all.
