While Shy Holmes’ peers were planning for college and travel, she was getting ready for a baby.
“My mom has always been my rock. She just said, ‘What are we going to do to prepare?,’ ” said Holmes. There was no judgment, only love.
The 24-year-old now has two children, ages six and five. As the third child in a family of seven kids, she was never uncomfortable around babies or toddlers.
Being a young mom hasn’t fazed her either. “When I think about it, I know I’m still young and I have plenty of time to fulfill and accomplish so many things,” Holmes said. “I’ll be in my thirties when my kids are grown and hopefully I’ll be there to meet my great-grandchildren if they have them — but not too young.”
Supporting herself on a single low income has had its challenges, however. She credits places like the Mustard Seed family centre, the Victoria Pregnancy Centre and the Quadra Village Community Centre — where she volunteers — with helping her learn the skills to take care of her family. “They really changed my skill set and gave me a different outlook on life,” said Holmes.
That new perspective includes finding joy while living within her family’s means. “We love going to thrift stores and secondhand shops,” she said. “I lucked into some very grateful kids. That helps, too.”
For her son’s fifth birthday, she found him a set of toy tent poles to build a fort. Before she could give him the set, she pulled an old sheet from the closet to drape on the poles. “He was so happy and excited with just the sheet.”
This Christmas, she plans to be at her mom’s with family. The kids will get presents, but the adults will do an anonymous Santa exchange. “We’re trying to embrace the idea of less is more,” she said.
Holmes knows her life is likely a lot different from that of her former classmates at Victoria High School, with whom she’s lost touch. “Everything in my life revolves around having children. Most people my age are not into that right now.”
But Holmes said she is happy and if she has a few words of advice for teen moms struggling to get by, it’s this: “Seek more resources and open your mind to help and to secondhand things. New is not always better.”
In addition to its regular programs, the Mustard Seed helps hundreds of families and individuals each Christmas with holiday food hampers and home-cooked meals. This year, the Times Colonist Christmas Fund will help support those efforts. You can help by donating to the fund.
How to donate:
It's quick and easy to donate online.
Just go to:
timescolonist.com/christmasfund
By phone: 250-995-4438
By mail or in person:
2621 Douglas St., Victoria, B.C.
V8T 4M2
Make cheques payable to "Times Colonist Christms Fund"
