In the 1970s, television stations would broadcast public service announcements that asked: “Parents, do you know where your children are?” The messages ran late at night, the implication being that the kids were out hell-raising.
Our current generation of teenagers has a different preoccupation. If the same question were asked nowadays, the answer is more likely to be: “Sitting in the basement, texting.”
According to a recent survey, teenagers send an average of 3,000 text messages each month. How do they manage this staggering output?
Fewer than one in three goes out to meet friends on a regular basis. Their communications are all electronic. And if that still doesn’t free up enough time, one in five gets out of bed in the middle of the night to text.
While this sounds like a mere passing fad, a growing number of psychologists fear it is not. They point to strong evidence that obsessive texting alters brain chemistry.
It appears teens who send and receive these rapid-fire messages experience a release of dopamine, the brain chemical associated with intense gratification. That might explain, in part, the enormous commitment of time and attention kids are willing to devote to this activity. Basically, they get a high from the sheer speed of the interchange.
There are differing views as to whether social media are actually addictive. But the similarities to substance addictions are troubling.
Moreover, it doesn’t stop there. Texting demands attention. But the subject of that attention is not a friend. It’s an inanimate keypad. Gone is all of the substance and meaning that comes with a genuine face-to-face meeting. Instead, kids are measuring their self-worth in the number of “likes” they can pull in.
And the sheer impersonality of these hook-ups invites other forms of harm. Bullying is a lot easier when you don’t have to meet your victim in the flesh. And after texting comes “sexting.” One study found that nearly 40 per cent of teenagers have sent sexually suggestive messages.
And what of the impact on language skills? There are limits to how much can be said in a message where the limit is 140 characters. A technology that demands brevity doesn’t leave much room for young kids to brush up their vocabulary.
But the real issue that should concern any parent is the isolating nature of social media. That sounds counter-intuitive. Isn’t the whole point to enhance communication?
But genuine relationships are built on a form of intimacy that social media do not permit. The instant gratification of text messaging is a poor substitute, or no substitute at all, for a lasting friendship.
Japan’s Family Planning Association reports that 61 per cent of single men have no girlfriend. The most frequent explanation given is: “I don’t know how to start a relationship with a member of the opposite sex.”
No wonder. In essence, our children are cocooning themselves in a solitary world where they are free to avoid all the messiness of real relationships. In such an artificial existence, life-building skills such as self-reflection and patience have little use.
How we should react is another matter. A teenage girl whose world revolves around her cellphone isn’t helped by throwing the device away.
But this is something we need to discuss with our kids. Texting is not a relationship. A cellphone is not a replacement for getting out of the house and meeting people.
And the problem will get worse before it gets better. These technologies are all on the rise.
In his book Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie wrote about Neverland, a world of lost children who wouldn’t grow up. If we’re not careful, a century-old work of fiction might become our roadmap to the future.
