My friend is a great guy. He is crazy about his wife but misses going out with her and travelling with her. She insists that their cat would suffer if left alone, without at least one of them home.
She works at home, so the cat is fine during the day. At night, she says they can’t be out together. She needs to be able to phone and talk to the cat. My friend says the cat “talks” back to her and she needs that reassurance. Travelling is the same. They have to take solo trips that include scheduled phone calls where the one at home holds the phone for the cat and the other talks.
The cat is pretty old now, so do you think having a baby would help?
Concerned Friend
No, I do not think having a baby would help this couple. I think they need professional help to understand their attachment to the cat, and not vice versa. Yes, many pets suffer separation anxiety, especially since COVID when they were home with their owners 24/7, but this is not coming from the pet. This is coming from the couple.
They should look into starting therapy now, especially if the cat is old, because they will suffer a devastating loss when it dies. Many people are heartbroken when a pet crosses the rainbow bridge, but I’m concerned that these people will suffer more than most.
Back to the baby question – unless they can get their issues in check, their unhealthy dependency won’t bode well for parenting. And the husband will never have a wife to go out with or travel with again, as she will never leave her baby behind.
Why are people so incompetent? I went to a fast-food burger place and the people behind the counter had no idea how to make a burger. She kept asking me if she should flip it, and when she should put the cheese on. Though I ordered a bacon double cheeseburger, she forgot to make the bacon. Then she wrapped it up without offering me any condiments.
The next day, I went to the bank to deposit a cheque for my parents who are out of the country but need the money in their account. They asked their bank manager if that was a possibility and were told yes. But when I went to the same branch, I was made to wait while the assistant manager (the manager was on lunch) looked it up on his computer!
And last week, I went to a reputable seamstress to have my husband’s pants shortened. He bought them while out of town and didn’t have time to get them altered there. We measured together and marked the pants. The seamstress got the measurements correct but her stitching looks as though she did it with her eyes closed for the first time ever. It’s beyond messy and I need to take them somewhere else to be redone. What am I missing here? Has everyone just given up on common sense and capability?
Frustrated Community Member
Whoa! You sound as though you are having a very bad day/week/season. Breathe. Remember that you cannot control how other people behave, act or think. You can only control your reaction to all of that.
Yes, fast food is usually chosen as a meal because time is of the essence. In this case, you could have gently helped this girl, reminded her of the bacon, requested your condiments, etc. She’s clearly new.
The bank and the seamstress are something else. When you have a moment, speak to the manager and tell him what happened. The assistant manager just needs to increase their knowledge. As for the seamstress, find another.
FEEDBACK Regarding the child who came home from camp with his eyebrow notched (Aug. 26):
Reader — “I would be very concerned about the risk of blood borne disease from eyebrow notching with a shared razor which has been used on multiple people and has probably never been sanitized.
“Information on Hepatitis B says avoid sharing razors, tweezers, nail clippers, etc.”
Lisi — Agreed. That and so much more.
FEEDBACK Regarding the alcoholic spouse (Aug. 29):
Reader — “I would also seek advice from a lawyer and an accountant. He may soon need to start protecting himself financially and legally. Plus, she may need a ‘kick in the behind’ to see how far she has pushed him. Nothing is being said about how, or even if, she is affording her habit and what ‘sacrifices’ are being made to accommodate.”
Lisi — The key here is that he wants to help his wife, not destroy her.
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