Ever hear the one about the four-year-old with an iPod Touch? It goes like this: Parents buy their son the $200 gadget. The preschooler plays games, listens to music and maybe even video chats with other iPod-enabled preschoolers. Kid loses pricey device. Parents yell at kid for being irresponsible.
Wondering who would do such a thing? Look in the mirror. Bundle.com, a company that assesses consumers' spending habits, recently released a survey on the topic.
The survey examined spending by households with children at stores that sell toys, clothing and other services for tots, kids and teenagers. Cities were ranked based on the average spent over the past three years. New York City topped the list.
Julie Bookman, editor of Atlanta Parent magazine, acknowledged the tendency to overspend on kids. "With so many two-income families, even in today's economy, many families have the means to give their kids more than many of us had growing up," she said.
"The line today has really been blurred between needs and wants."
Competition with other families can drive spending choices, and so can guilt. Some parents spend more money on their kids because they feel bad about working. Others don't have enough money for the latest gadget, but rather than have a child go without, they put themselves in financial straits to get it.
"A lot of parents say it is very hard because little Johnny wants X, Y and Z because his best friend has it," said Jennifer Hutcheson, a mom of one and founder of the parenting blog Mami2Mommy.com.
Setting limits and sticking to them is an important step in preventing or curing the overindulged child, say experts.
"Always letting your kids have their way teaches them they have a lot more power and control than they are really able to manage," said Laura Mee, a child psychologist at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. "Teaching children to tolerate stress, teaching them to not always get their way ... is a healthy part of growing up."
Those lessons should start as early as 12 months, said Mee, and should continue in age-appropriate ways as the child matures. And for parents with a tendency to overindulge, explore other ways to bond.
"A lot of families need to think about how to best spend their money," Mee said. "It is kind of old school, but go out and ride bikes together, or play board games or make cupcakes at home. It is important for all of us to think about how to interact with our children in ways that don't always involve spending money."
