Oak Bay High School’s principal sent a letter to parents Monday saying a 15-year-old student with connections to the school had died “unexpectedly” on Sunday.
Tom Aerts identified the student as Harrison Helliwell in the letter, explaining the St. Michaels University School student had attended Oak Bay High in Grade 9 and was scheduled to return next year for his Grade 11 year.
“We have reached out to the family and they have given us permission to share with our community that he died unexpectedly on Sunday,” he wrote. “We hope you will share this sad news with your child.”
The principal asked parents to guide children away from speculation about the death on social media “out of respect to the family and friends directly impacted.”
Oak Bay police confirmed Monday they attended the sudden death of a youth on Sunday. Foul play was not suspected and the file has been turned over to the coroner.
Students can access counselling at the school or contact the school by email to access support.
“There have been many hurdles for all of us to navigate during the last 18 months, and this extra trauma can impact people in unforeseen ways,” Aerts said.
The school provided parents with handouts to aid parents in difficult discussions.
TIPS FOR PARENTS
Oak Bay High School provided parents with handouts, including one called “Guidelines for parents/guardians to support children through times of grief during and after a traumatic event.” Here are some of its recommendations:
• Be yourself — Demonstrate your natural concern calmly and in your own words.
• Be available — Spend time with your child. Attempt to distract your child by reading, walking, going to a movie, etc.
• Listen — Let your child express his/her thoughts, concerns, feelings, and perceptions in a nonjudgmental, emotionally safe environment.
• Explain — Talk about what you know in short, truthful statements. Don’t be afraid to admit that you do not have all the answers.
• Do not speculate.
• Develop resiliency — Your child will look to you for reassurance. Do not convey your own feelings of hopelessness, but rather let your child know that they will get through this difficult period.
• Provide comfort — Physical and verbal comforts are great healers.
• Attend to physical manifestations of trauma — Children will often complain of headaches, stomach aches, backaches, etc. Monitor physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, anxiety, sleep disturbance, etc. and determine whether medical intervention is required.
• Maintain regular routines — As much as possible, attempt to provide normalcy to your child. Humans are creatures of habit and derive comfort from regular routines.
• Monitor media exposure — Do not overexpose your child to media reports (especially preschool and elementary-age children).
• Seek additional support — When appropriate, your child should be directed to community support agencies.
