When Jamie van Gessel was 14, she began feeling down for no reason.
“I was sad. I was bordering on depressed, and there was no trigger behind it,” she said.
“I developed bad habits, bad coping mechanisms, like self-harm.”
It was the start of what would ultimately be diagnosed as bipolar disorder, an illness causing extreme mood and energy changes.
Today, van Gessel, 18, speaks publicly about living with bipolar, so that others know they aren’t alone. She’s proud to be graduating high school — on time — and is optimistic about the future.
But before her diagnosis, she said the confusion was overwhelming.
“It’s really stressful, especially at the very beginning when I thought it was just normal to feel sad for no reason,” she said. “You feel really alone, isolated and scared because you think there’s nothing you can do.”
But there is something you can do, van Gessel said in interview. On Thursday, she’ll talk about her experience at the legislature, along with Olympian Clara Hughes, who is completing a 12,000-kilometre cross-country bike ride to raise awareness for mental health issues.
Van Gessel’s journey involved visits with a string of experts. She talked to a school counsellor first, who suggested medical help. Her family doctor referred her to a psychiatrist, who misdiagnosed her with depression and prescribed medication.
“After a few months, I felt it wasn’t helping,” she said. “I found out later that when you have bipolar and you’re put on anti-depressants, it makes your mood swings more dramatic.”
Those swings led her to the hospital in Grade 10 for an emergency psychiatric evaluation. She was referred to child and youth mental health services in Saanich, where she saw another psychiatrist.
Finally, she was diagnosed.
Although it’s scary knowing that she will always have to manage the disorder, van Gessel said she’s coming to terms with it.
She said she speaks publicly about her experience to encourage others to seek help.
“I want people to feel like it’s OK,” she said. “I feel like the more awareness we get about bipolar, the easier it will be for people to seek help.”
Some of the help van Gessel received came through the Bipolar Babe project.
Andrea Paquette, who also has bipolar, launched the project in May 2009. It began with wearing a T-shirt to stimulate conversation. Now, it has grown into the Bipolar Disorder Society of B.C., which Paquette heads as executive director.
Paquette said there are still many misconceptions about bipolar disorder, which was formerly known as manic-depression.
“It consists of more than just highs and lows,” Paquette said. “A lot of people think you’re sad, then you’re happy, but it’s not that. You do experience elevated states of mood, which is called hypomania and mania, you experience stability and you experience depression. You also can, but not always, experience psychosis.”
Paquette suffered a major psychosis that ended with a suicide attempt. She survived. Now, with the help of medication, she said she’s thriving and has turned her negative experience into a positive support network.
Both Paquette and van Gessel said support from friends and family can make the journey easier. Van Gessel suggested people not push resources on their loved one, but let them know that support groups exist and anyone, even if they haven’t diagnosed, can attend.
She offered phrases like, “I don’t expect to understand, but I really care about you.”
Paquette said that if you are concerned about a loved one, encourage them to seek medical attention.
A list of emergency contact numbers and more information is available at bipolarbabe.com
“If someone is having a big crisis, you call the crisis line and they can call emergency response. Sometimes that can be scary, but it’s what you have to do,” Paquette said.
It’s important to know that diagnosis is not the end.
“People shouldn’t give up,” Paquette said. “People with mental illness can live extraordinary lives.”
