The one thing I think we can all agree on, in this age of heightened sensitivity to political, religious and cultural differences, is that people who refer to Lego blocks as “Legos” (plural) are insane and probably should be locked up for their own protection.
The proper term is Lego (singular). For example: “OWWWWW I stepped on a Lego (singular) block left out of the gigantic Lego (singular) bin!”
The name Lego is a portmanteau of two Danish words, “leg” and “godt,” which should mean “God’s leg” but, because Danish is incomprehensible, actually means “play well (or God will kick you).”
In Latin, “lego” means “I put together,” which Lego’s founder did not know at the time (1932) and place (Billund, Denmark) because he was Danish, not Latinish.
Coincidentally in America, a country known for its fondness for danishes, “leg-go” is a common phrase used when arguing over toasted frozen waffles, favourite American pastimes (arguing and waffles).
You know it is a good toy when it’s been around for so long. Toys go in and out of fashion, such as Barbie Adolf Hitler and the once-popular children’s board game “Let’s Colonize Africa!” Lego has always been popular, so much so that it has been named “Toy of the Century” twice.
More than 220 million Lego sets are sold around the world each year. That works out to seven Lego sets sold per second.
The latest data I could find without actually researching anything is from 2021, and shows an annual increase in Lego revenue of 27%, meaning an increase from $5.35 billion the previous year to $6.78 billion. So it’s fair to say Lego is doing just fine, and that makes me glad.
One of Lego’s biggest benefits is hours of entertainment! What I mean is if you need some Sunday afternoon me-time, you won’t do any better than locking the kids in a room with a big bucket of plastic blocks and a menacing look. Don’t forget to give the little tykes some water and maybe put down some newspaper if you think the big game will go into overtime.
Lego helps develop fine motor skills, which are highly sought-after for numerous professions, such as neurosurgeon, casino dealers and various positions within the international jewellery heist trade.
While difficult to define, fine motor skills involve precise movements using small muscle groups, like buttoning a shirt, or subtly signalling to your wife your desire to leave the party early using only your nostrils.
Building with Lego is a great bonding experience for parents and children, especially when dads get tired of replacing missing parts and resort to Krazy Glue or Bic lighters. I grew up in the 1970s when dads, if you could get their attention, were prone to solving every problem as permanently as possible.
Lego also teaches children how to follow directions. Following step-by-step instructions to put together a Lego spaceship today better prepares your child for frustration and bitter failure following step-by-step IKEA instructions tomorrow.
Lego is a great way to show your kids they can achieve their goals by following directions and rules, unless they are white and have a good legal team, obviously.
Lego does have some downsides. As previously mentioned, there is the ever-present danger of stepping on a small piece of Lego, requiring CONSTANT VIGILANCE to prevent violent swear-dancing in front of the children.
Also, as an at-home mother with three young children, I am worried about them choking on small Lego bits. To be fair, I am also worried about them choking on large Lego bits, marbles, gravel, cigarette butts, loose change, and past-due foodstuffs. Maybe we should get a vacuum cleaner or a dog or something.
Lego differs from other toys such as a ball or medieval longsword in that it comes in many, many pieces. You will be picking up and putting away those pieces many, many times.
This is because children don’t want to put things away. They really just want to watch the world burn down. Nobody knows why this is so, nor why we keep having them now that contraceptives are inexpensive and widely available.
Finally, Lego is expensive. I know this because, even though I am a 56-year-old man, I still buy Lego. Sure, I have the benefit of hiding behind my grandchildren when I do, but the reality is that I love playing with Lego and I don’t care how much it costs, including how long it takes to unfold myself after sitting cross-legged on the floor for three minutes.
I admit I also like the feeling of creative control I have when building with Lego. Not all the pieces of my real life fit together very well. There are worn, broken bits in my body and missing blocks from my mind.
Lego lets me try to create a better world, and by extension a better me in it, which is probably worth the occasional hard plastic block driven through the sole of my foot.
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