I am a people person. I find human beings to be a source of endless fascination. Why do people make the choices they do? Why are we each unique and yet share so much in common? How do we each handle the challenges and joys of human living?
One of the things I like to do is to find a good public location for people watching and then just observe. While my toddler son plays at a playground or when I am purchasing groceries or even in line at the pharmacy, I try to pay attention to the people around me. I marvel at the diversity. I try to notice all I can. Usually, I find this practice makes me smile. Sometimes it’s a smile of recognition when I see in someone else an emotion or action that I have felt or done myself. Sometimes it’s a smile of appreciation for having crossed paths with this particular person on this particular day. Other times, I leave with a tinge of sadness or concern when I have noticed someone who seemed upset or hurting. Each time I try to offer a prayer or wish or hope for the person I have seen.
I wonder sometimes at what I see. How well do others know us? How much do we let others in? I frequently see people who seem lonely or lost. I overhear lots of conversations that seem very superficial. It is not that I expect to regularly witness profound conversations or connections of obviously deep meaning to those involved. We have to talk about what’s for dinner after all. I do worry sometimes, however, that we settle for the surfaces of life too often. I worry that far too many people don’t have anyone with whom they share their true self. We need places and spaces in our lives where we can be our whole selves and talk about what is on our hearts. We need to have outlets for our inner lives, not just our routine lists and tasks.
I sometimes wonder what would happen if we had a National Day of Authenticity. A day devoted not just to honest and open sharing, but to being as much who we know ourselves to be on that day as we possibly can. Would it be too much? Would we see more tears in public than we feel comfortable with? Would we find that more people are carrying around a great deal of anger than we knew? Would we ache when we saw how many people want to be loved more than they are? Who would you be on that day? Would you surprise yourself?
Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Sounds simple enough. Yet I have a hunch it is not so simple at all. Our societal and cultural messages—especially from pop culture—encourage us to try to be like someone else. A more popular or thinner or more attractive or wealthier version….you get the idea. Being ourselves is apparently not sufficient. What if we were?
Perhaps we will all have to make our days full of authenticity on our own. May you move about your days comfortable in your own skin. May you find you have myriad places and spaces where you are able to be yourself. May you find acceptance and encouragement and even love everywhere you look.
Rev. Shana Lynngood is co-minister of First Unitarian Church of Victoria. She has lived and served in Victoria since 2010.
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