For an hour and a half Friday afternoon, those who loved Pamella Dyer shared stories about her love of animals, skill in NASCAR pools, thrift-shop hunting chops and giving spirit.
But while the memorial service gave comfort to those who loved Dyer, some said they will need more answers about her suspicious death for closure.
Dyer, 64, was found dead July 20 in her home at 2227 French Rd. S. Sooke RCMP have neither identified a suspect nor a cause of death.
“I need those answers. I need to know what went on,” said Bruce Kirkham, whom the family considered Dyer’s “unofficial brother.”
“Because right now, I’m not having a good feeling.”
Dyer and Kirkham met 51 years ago at a wedding. The pair have since helped one another through tough times, like the death of Kirkham’s sister four years ago.
“She was a lot of strength for me,” he said. “I don’t know how I’m going to cope with this.”
The memorial was an opportunity for the family to focus not on Dyer’s death, but on the things they loved about her, her niece Nicole Cardinal said.
“For us it’s really important to remember her and her life and the impact she had on all of us. It’s a thoughtful day and also a day about happy memories,” she said, speaking on behalf of the family.
About 150 people arrived at the Sooke Community Hall to celebrate Dyer. They heard about her strange and wonderful creatures — which included rescue dog Megan, who was in the back row, as well as a parrot, fish and the dinner plate-sized turtles that called her pond home.
Angus Stanfield spoke about Dyer’s dedication to the Sooke Legion, where she donated her time, artwork, jewelry and “almost all of her heart.”
“She defined the idea of volunteerism,” Stanfield said, as part of his reluctant goodbye.
Jani Cardinal described Dyer as the cheeky, mischievous sister.
“With Pam, you really knew you were living,” her mother used to say.
Cameron Speedie shared Dyer’s deep love of rocks and gems. Her patience with rock cutting and goldsmithing set her apart at competitions. He announced that the Victoria Lapidary and Mineral Society will have a new bursary program for students, called the Pam Dyer Memorial Bursary.
But most notable were the laughs that speeches and memories drew, including an anecdote about Dyer skinning a pet rabbit that had been killed for biting someone, prompting her sister to say: “This is true. I’m not making this up.”
At the outset of the ceremony, addressing the uncertainty around Dyer’s death, Barb Helem-Whittington — a friend of the family — offered Dyer’s own words of advice.
“One of Pam’s favourite expressions was, ‘One day at a time,’ ” she said.
Hours after Dyer’s death, her son, Michael McCormick, was arrested and charged with uttering threats to cause death or bodily harm in connection with text messages sent to his ex-girlfriend.
McCormick, who did not attend the funeral, pleaded guilty to charges of uttering threats and breach of probation. He was sentenced Thursday to 90 days in jail. He was given credit for the time he has spent in custody since his arrest, and will remain in jail for an additional 63 days.
RCMP Staff Sgt. Jeff McArthur would not comment on whether McCormick is a suspect or person of interest in his mother’s death. He said the investigation is ongoing.
The B.C. Coroners Service will not release the cause of death until the RCMP has ruled the death not suspicious.
“Uncertainty can be difficult, but uncertainty can also be a comfort. We hope that answers come with time, but we’re also prepared if answers don’t. … The reality, at this point, is that answers won’t bring her back,” Nicole Cardinal said.
“For us, today was about her life, not her death.”
